This is what good journalism looks like

There are so many things to enjoy in this video that it's almost impossible to start anywhere. I'll choose chronology of events out of laziness, but there are a plethora of other ranking/assessment models that one could choose as well, ranging from the funniest parts, to the most unexpected parts, to the weeziest cough-inducing parts. It's a wild world out there, but I'm just gonna play it safe for now:

1. The first fall
All left foot - watch that thing go as she attempts to stay upright. An absolutely stunning piece of foot-trickery, like she's starring in an unholy mash-up of Sling Blade and Lord of the Dance.

2. The second fall
The sheer talent displayed in that awkward, ankle-snapping, 2-foot va-voom to the finish is remarkable. How does she do that? She literally wobble-walks for a few seconds, shifting her entire weight to-and-fro on the poorly chosen fulcrum of the abused, ready-to-snap heels sticking out of her absurdly designed shoes like a really socially awkward tumor, or erection. Look at those moves! Incredible. I'm surprised this didn't go viral as a Chris Brown dance or something. It's like the twist, only for people with no discernible bone mass beneath their knees.

3. The first laugh
That first hoary gasp that emerges from the anchor's throat - wow. If that's not a PSA for why smoking can be kind of awesome, I don't know what is. Not that I condone smoking, but still - what a character-defining laugh. That is like the laugh equivalent of the 1.5 inch-deep wrinkles on Clint Eastwood's face. That's man-laugh, ladies and gentlemen.

4. The ensuing laugh orgy
I recall with a great deal of fondness those types of laughing fits from elementary and high school - when, no matter the inappropriateness of the context or your efforts to stifle it, it was impossible to stop laughing. It doesn't happen as much anymore, but seeing two older anchors break up into paroxyms of giggling while hosting the news gives me a certain heartwarming faith in getting older. Plus, hearing ol' hoary gasp giggle is the aural equivalent of crack cocaine.

5. Clapping
Clapping when you're laughing is the pinnacle of the human experience. FACT.

6. Realizing what the model is carrying
What the fuck is she doing with a watering can? Who made this decision? No wonder she fell. She was probably just flabbergasted and pissed off that she had to carry a goddamned WATERING CAN down a runway. I'd fall twice too, out of spite. But that's how I roll.

Gay, Blind Mountain Climbers

One of the all-time best news bloopers, in my stunningly humble opinion.



The best part of this video, of course, is the authority with which she blurts out 'gay'. She says it with so much authority, in fact, that I'm almost tempted to believe that she actually had an inside scoop on the story, and accidentally let it slip out. That, somehow, she knew a male friend of a friend who had sexed up a gay, blind Mt. Everest climber but had demanded a promise from the anchor to keep their tryst secret for the time being. That could have happened, right? Right?
The look on her co-anchor's face is priceless as well. I almost get the sense that he knew something bad was going to happen - watching him twirl his pencil and steadfastly refuse to look at her gives a hint of the 'I know something bad is going to happen, but I don't quite know what exactly it will be, and I will exist awkwardly until it does happen' strategy, most popularly employed by Mike Myers when Kanye West noted, on live TV, that George W. Bush may not care as much about black people as he does about, say, um, white people. The co-anchor's reaction when she does eventually blurt out 'gay', though not quite as great as Mike Myers' Kanye reaction, certainly occupies the same rarified, life-affirming air of Internet video greatness.